merry christmas...

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan memilih untuk menciptakan Adam, kemudian Eva untuk menemaninya, memiliki keturunan dan memenuhi bumi.


Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan memilih dan memanggil Nuh untuk membangun bahtera ditengah cemoohan orang disekitarnya.

Hanya karena cinta Tuhan menciptakan pelangi sebagai tanda kasih dan perjanjian kepada manusia ciptaan-Nya bahwa tidak akan ada lagi air bah sekarang sampai selama-lamanya.

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan memanggil Abraham, memberkatinya berlimpah-limpah dan menjadikannya Bapa orang beriman, leluhur Yesus Kristus penebus manusia.

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan mencegah Abraham mengurbankan Ishak anaknya, dan memberikan hewan sebagai gantinya.

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan memilih, lalu meluangkan waktu untuk bergumul dengan Yakub, mengubah namanya menjadi cikal bakal sebuah bangsa yang besar, Israel.

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan mengizinkan Yusuf dicobai di padang gurun, dipenjara, lalu mengangkat dia kepada kemenangan demi kemenangan.

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan membawa bangsa Israel keluar dari perbudakan bangsa Mesir dengan tuntunan Musa dan Yosua menuju Tanah Perjanjian.

Hanya karena cinta, pintu maaf-Nya yang lebar senantiasa terbuka untuk Daud, Tuhan memilih Daud menjadi raja kaum Israel, jatuh ke dalam dosa, bertobat, jatuh lagi untuk kesekian kali, namun Tuhan mengampuni.

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan menganugerahkan kebijaksanaan dan kekayaan tiada terukur banyaknya kepada Salomo.

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan memahkotai dan memberikan Ester kesempatan menjadi ratu bangsa Persia.

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan menjagai dan membawa keluar Sadrakh, Mesakh dan Abednego dari api yang menyala-nyala.

Hanya karena cinta, Tuhan menjadikan Daniel orang terpandang di negara Baal, bahkan menutup mulut singa yang seharusnya memangsanya.

Hanya karena cinta dan pengampunan yang luar biasa, karya penyelamatan terbesar terjadi. Tuhan mengirimkan anak-Nya yang tunggal Yesus Kristus ke rahim seorang wanita, hidup selayaknya manusia, mati oleh manusia, demi penebusan dosa manusia.

Dan hanya karena cinta, Tuhan raja semesta alam akan datang kembali menjemput mempelai-Nya untuk tinggal dalam kerajaan kekal tidak berkesudahan.

Amen.

quote of the day

“Everyone is always going through tough things, the irony in it is that everyone thinks what they’re going through is just as hard as what you are. Life isn’t about surviving this, it’s about understanding this.“ Nicholas Sparks

dan semua.

maka hari ini, ijinkan aku bertanya...

apa gunanya hidup kalau hanya untuk bertahan?
bertahan dari sengatan mentari yang tajamnya menguras peluh.
bertahan dari dinginnya malam yang menusuk tulang.
bertahan dari deru badai yang mengguncang sanubari

apa gunanya hidup kalau hanya dijalani sebagai mekanisme pertahanan
hari demi hari, hanya utk menemukan bagaimana cara tubuh, jiwa dan hati ini bisa bertahan melewati hari
berawal dari matahari terbit, berkuasa disarangnya di langit sana, hingga akhirnya lelah berganti malam

ketika berganti bulan yang mengambil alih
tubuh, jiwa dan hati yang telah mengalami hidupnya selama satu hari diizinkan beristirahat sejenak,
melepas peluh, mengistirahatkan sejenak pertahanannya,
untuk mempersiapkan hari esok yang kurang lebih sama,
jikalau Sang Pencipta mengizinkan. Begitulah seterusnya

hidup dalam sebuah siklus yang kurang lebih sama
sampai pada akhirnya tiba, semua menjadi tidak berarti
sebab pada akhirnya, semua tidak berarti
semua pencapaian, semua mimpi
semua perasaan, semua emosi yang kerap kali menghantui.
semua isak tangis, semua dendam amarah, semua benci.
yang tinggal hanyalah kesan

sebab pada akhirnya semua yang terjadi, semua drama, semua peran yang kita lakoni akan lenyap
lenyap.. seperti mimpi..
pada akhirnya seribu tahun hanya terasa seperti mimpi..
pada akhirnya... semua tidak berarti...

quotes of the day.

Barney  "Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I'm teaching you how to do, do, do"
Marshall  "Doo-doo! [laughs]"
Barney  "[chuckles] Totally."

Ted  "Ultimately, we only see what we want to see when we're ready to see it."


Lily  "We all have to live with the mistakes we make, but how often do you get to bash the living hell out of them!?"

Marshall  "This is not that uncommon! You know, in Thailand, in China, in Costa Rica, and in many other places where monkey crime is an extremely common occurrence, their social dynamics are predicated upon stealing!"
Lily  "You got mugged by a monkey!"


Barney  "People like being lied to. They just don't like finding out they've been lied to."


Ted  "You know how everyone has that guy or girl that no matter what happens, you know will be perfect for you."
Marshall  "Lily."
Robin  "Mike Shacks."
Barney  "That girl over there."

Marshall  "I love you and I'm going to love the crap out of whatever kind of baby we have."



... from the TV Show How I Met Your Mother season 5 & 6. Always loving their absurd-but-loving kind of friendship : )

dear both of you.

when will you finally understand?
that this little girl of yours is a rebel, wild at heart.
will you accept me the way I am?

when will you understand that I'm different?
different doesn't have to be wrong.
different isn't a sin.

when will you understand that He didn't make a mistake while creating me?
no, He never made any mistakes.

when will you understand, that for me.. life is meant to be enjoyed. not by pushed too hard being someone I'm not supposed to be?

when.. oh when you'll understand, that I'm not one of those sweet girls, working in a bank, marrying a workaholic rich guy introduced by her mom, live in a big house, then holding a baby wearing baby GAP and guess kid, live happily ever after?

I'm not one of them.

I guess... I'm not.

"It’s not worth anything more than this at all
I live as I choose or I will not live at all

I’m free to decide, I’m free to decide
And I’m not so suicidal after all

So to hell with what you’re thinking
And to hell with your narrow mind
You’re so distracted from the real thing
You should leave your life behind (behind)"

 The Cranberries - Free to decide.


Please... Just let me be someone I should be?

ups and downs.

Life.

ups and downs.
people thought 'ups' are good, 'downs' are bad.
'ups' made you overwhelmed, while 'downs' turn you depressed
'ups' feed your ego, while 'downs' broke them.
'ups' lifted you high,while 'downs' pull you below.

ups and downs.

some try to define life by rollercoaster.
some try to define it with a wheele.
some define it by a circle : it continues.

Acceptable or not.

This is the law : "There must be ups and downs while you are still alive"... and baby,...

"There is no ups, without downs."

me.

My name is jessica.
I'm 23 on July 2010.
I love rain drops, blue skies, wind breeze,trees, flowers.
I love nature-literally.

I love to read ensyclopedia and graphic novels when my parents couldn't afford to buy me one. So visiting the nearest playground with a mini library inside become my childhood pleasure. Easy yet amusing. Sitting all day, drain my-self in the world of science and imagination. Nothing compares.

I love, love, love to read, and draw. And music. I read everything when I was a child. From children magazines, my Indonesian literature school-book, my english course hand-book (which I still kept), my mom's books and magazines, my dad's business book, his traveler's guide to Europe and map(which made me dreamt about travelling the world whole of my life) my grandma's books, my grandpa's books, everything else that can be read.

So I started deciding my future. I want to be a stewardess on grade 4, a fashion designer on grade 5 and 6, an archeologist on 2nd and 3rd grade junior high, a psychologist on 1st and 2nd senior high, and an interior designer on 3rd grade, the one finally chosen as my carrier to-be, at least until my 1st year in uni.

And still, while all of responsibility and such have to be done, I fill my thoughts and heart with other beautiful things. I convince my self to study not for a bachelor degree. There is more than that. I enjoyed most of all my time studying at uni. Not as smart and talented as those people around me, I enjoyed reading books for hours in the library, translating architecture philosophy for my best friends.

So I studied, enjoyed and understand. Good marks, average marks, on and on.Final project, graduate, bachelor degree. I dedicate my degree for my parents, the one who struggle and worked very hard to support all my needs during my days at schools.

And so now I'm here. Nowhere to go. Still in search of what future holds. They said I should focus on my carrier, get good job, good money. I said life is more than that.

All in my life I've learned to see beautiful things in different perspective. Still long way to go, the gate to my future is wide open. Focus on your dream they said, while I'm still searching. While people are honored for their talents, I'm still searching for a place that suits mine. A place where I could share those ensyclopedies, novels, and books I've read to others. Where I could share my struggle, my mistakes, my hopes and prayer as an inspiration to others. where I could learn and live life with others. Where I could share that life is more than money, pride, self-status and fame. Life is more than that. yes, life is more than that.

I'm still searching.

d e a r p a r e n t s . . .

Don't teach your children life lessons with talks. Just show them in your daylife.

Don't ask your daughter to stop dating older man.. Be a good role model instead.. Teach them what they want to know. They wouldn't need other mature people to satisfy their hunger of maturity.

Don't be a police guard who stays awake waiting them come home until 3 a.m.. Be their best friend and ask what they're doing on the next day instead.

Don't yell at your children to tidy up their room.. Give them an understanding about hygiene and health instead.

Don't act like a dictator.. Just learn that people born with different characters. Adapt with your children's differences. They'll learn to obey you with their own way and put their trust on you as their friend.

Don't compare your children to others and show your disatisfaction to them. It will hurt themselves, as long as start comparing you with other parents too.

Don't judge your children's friends just because they're tattoed, pierced or playing heavy metal music. Try to understand that God created people in many kind of appearance and just try to accept them and be their trustable friend instead. They will put their trust in you and never lie behind your back.

Don't be angry if they do wrong, just remember that a fault is just one step closer to success, and believe that experience is one of the best teacher in our lives. Just teach them how to handle bad conditions and be their shoulder to cry on instead. They'll grow stronger than what you expect.

Don't bring too much negative thoughts out from your head.. If you're sure you've nurtured and teach them your best, just relax, put your trust on them as they grew older, and just believe that the God, the One you always pray to, watches them regulary and take care of them for you.

Don't force your children to accept your believes and your perspective of life. Understand that you get different acknowledge in different environment and different condition. Things will never be the same for you and your children. Try to appreciate their thoughts instead. They'll grow up to be an open-minded and responsible kids.

Don't ever think that your children will always be children. Just accept their maturity fase, and understand that what goes around comes around. They're soon gonna grow up just like you..


Be prepare instead.

we are the children of life.

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love, but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.
--Kahlil Gibran

Forgive us dear parents... but trully, a message from our deepest heart..
Not to be understanable.. yes..
Uneasily accepted.. I'm sure it is

But that's the way it should be...mothers & fathers






So just pray with your pure gentle heart...
that the Light may guide the path of our life..
N hope that this track is the best...

Jessica is currently....

In a search of a place to anchoring her soul...
To lay down her head...
To rest her mind...







Anyplace, anyone?

wings of desire.

Maggie Rice: Do you feel that?
Seth: Yes.
Maggie Rice: And that? How's it feel? Tell me what it feels like.
Seth: I can't.
Maggie Rice: Try.
Seth: Warm. Aching.
Maggie Rice: It's okay. We fit together.
Seth: I know.
Maggie Rice: We were made to fit together.

City of Angels, 1995

Sigh*...
Sometimes I'm hoping things would run smoothly and perfecto just like those fairytale movies.
........
........
........
But who am I to ask..
For we're just some piece of puzzle who's here to complete the picture of life.





I'm still here waitin for the best...

Terlanjur Sayang =)

Dearest my treasure of life...

Terimakasih untuk mengijinkan aku menempati sebuah bagian ruang dalam hati kalian yang disana ditempatkan berbagai macam perabot jiwa.
Terimakasih untuk memberikan aku kesempatan mencoret kanvas kehidupan kalian dengan warna terang binar kehidupan maupun warna pekat keredupan cahaya.
Terimakasih untuk memberikanku kepercayaan menggandeng tanganmu dan menuntun disaat kau tersesat dalam kegelapan..
Terimakasih untuk mahalnya detik, menit dan jam yang dengan ikhlas kalian relakan untuk berbagi segala macam bahan baku pembentuk kehidupan...
Terimakasih untuk telinga yang senantiasa mendengar isak tangis dan tawa bahagia...
Terimakasih untuk mata yang tajam dan teliti menembus segala kelemahan dan kekurangan..
Terimakasih untuk lengan yang selalu direntangkan kapan pun aku membutuhkan kehangatan cinta sebagai pengusir kebekuan jiwa...
Terimakasih untuk untaian indah kata-kata bijak, nasihat, teguran, pujian...
Terimakasih untuk hati semurni emas yang senantiasa menerima, melupakan, menutupi dan mengikhlaskan segala ketidaksempurnaan...

There just never enough words to describe....
Love u guys =)
(didedikasikan untuk setiap individu yang merasa pernah terlibat dalam adegan tersebut bersama saya.. u're my treasure of life...)

p e r f e c t .

Sometimes it's never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love
Don't forget to win first place
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face

Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You've got to measure up
And make me prouder

How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet

Be a good girl
You've gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn't good enough
To make us proud

I'll live through you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem...why are you crying

Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect

Alanis Morisette "Jagged Little Pill" (1995)

"Never would done that to my children promise..."

Quotes of the day.

...and so is the average people do.. Have u considered urself to be beyond average? It's better coz admirance need some one to tell it for u. But beyond average make u don't need that kind of words. They're already in u!

Yeah.... stop worrying n questioning stupid questions too much. Just smile, live ur life, n good things usually come in the moment u most unexpected.

Have a groooovy dayyyy =)

A Thankful Heart.

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.

Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.

Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.

Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.

Count your health instead of your wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself.

--Anonymous

A Time to Remember.

Tumpukan ilmu dan hasil fotografi ini adalah "saksi bisu" kegilaan angkatan kami dalam menghadapi final project (baca : tugas akhir) kali ini. Yes, this is our last semester. Dan minggu ini sidang evaluasi sedang berlangsung.

Semua orang kayak diamuk badai.. Frekuensi kunjungan ke perpustakaan kampus meningkat. Frekuensi ketemuan sekedar kongkow-nothing-to do jauh berkurang. Sebagian besar anak memasang raut muka tegang tiap bertemu. Wajar. Ini sidang penentuan. Kalau yang ini tidak lulus... Bonus extend 1/2 tahun... Congratz then, kata dosen pembimbing kami saat briefing TA jumat kemarin.

Dan disaat-saat seperti ini, semua orang selalu lupa. Bahwa yang terindah sebenarnya adalah prosesnya. Sebut saya gila, tapi saya menikmati semua proses ini dengan senyum dan hati tenang... Sebut saya gila lagi, tapi ditengah-tengah semua kegilaan ini saya malah terinspirasi untuk menuliskan kenang-kenangan buat si tugas akhir.
Hehehe.....

Belum... Saya belum selesai. kerjaan saya masih menumpuk.. Sangat sangat banyak.

Tapi melihat perubahan status anak2 di sebuah situs pertemanan paling hot saat ini.. Yang semua lebih kurang sedang mengidolakan yang namanya si tugas akhir itu (ada juga sih yang memaki.. yah biasalah. namanya juga perjuangan berat..)
Rasanya waktu-waktu seperti ini indah sekali...
Waktu-waktu yang ngga akan terulang lagi, setelah kita memakai toga nanti. Hebohnya ngeprint kerjaan dikertas selebar kamar kostan, hebohnya meramaikan perpustakaan, hebohnya memburu dosen (tanpa memikirkan betapa stressnya dia menghadapi puluhan makhluk yang minta bimbingan setiap hari), hebohnya kita saat saling bertukar info demi melengkapi bab 4 yang katanya harus lebih tebal dari bab 2....

These are wonderful things that time won't repeat...

"We may make our future by the best use of the present. There is no moment like the present."

Yeah... because these times wouldn't come back..
I thought then the best is to enjoy these precious moments...
Just soak in it...

Dan saya merasa... akan sangat merindukan momen-momen ini....

Gud luck guys....
This battle is ours to fight together
=)

Time to Leave.

I have to admit.....
That I hate this feeling....

Ternyata ngga ada yang abadi di dunia ini. Bahkan sesuatu yang kau pertahankan sekuat-kuatnya. Yang berasal dari dalam dirimu sendiri.

Ketika sudah tiba waktunya kau harus menyerah....

Dan saat itu juga aku berteriak...

Tuhan!!!
Kenapa cuma sampai disini kemampuanku???

Maaf, sungguh... maafkan aku....
Karena hatiku sakit saat mengungkapkan ini. Karena sesungguhnya aku ngga sampai hati..

Tapi aku harus...

Dan mungkin dari sini aku mulai beranjak.
Bangkit, dan mulai berjalan ke arah yang seharusnya...

Di luar sana hujan... Rintik hujan...
Dan disini... saat ini, telingaku penuh dengan lagu-lagu cinta...

Tapi ternyata hati ini bisa kebal... Ada waktunya untuk menutup rapat...

Sekali lagi maafkan aku...

"drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you've no idea what you're like

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown"
Let Go - Frou Frou.

Another Beautiful Thought.

Landon : Hey. How are you feeling?
Jamie : I'm ok, how are you?
Landon : Pretty good.
Jamie : I have something for you.
Landon : You do?
Jamie : Uh hmm... Don't worry it's not a bible. It was my mother's. It's got quotes from all her favorite books, and quotes by famous people. Her thoughts. Come on.
Landon : Okay, let's check it out. Okay..."What is a friend? It's a single soul dwelling in two bodies." -Aristotle.
Jamie : Uh uh, right here.
Landon : Okay. "Find out who you are, and do it on purpose." That's Dolly Parton.
Jamie : I always thought she was smart.
Landon : "Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful."
From the film A Walk to Remember.

"More new lesson for today... Sometimes we must be reminded again & again.... Beberapa hal kadang membuat kita kebal. Beberapa membuat sakit hati. "Kesabaran ada batasnya." kalimat favorit ketika keadaan sudah diluar batas kemampuan diri untuk menghadapi. Ketika kita bertanya-tanya, what the hell turns him into that monster? Well, all u gotta do is breath in, just ask some more love from HIM, n every thing will be okay.Because often things would look different n amazingly much better when we start to think with love, act with love, and hope with love. HIS love definitely."

Because LOVE is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.

=)

Quotes of the day.

"Coz life is a battleship anyway. So why we always tryin to escape from a battle?"
Jessica Maria Silaban



(Inspired by the path of my life these 2 weeks...)
=)